October 23, 2013

I’ve wanted to get braces so long ago I can’t even remember when it started. Maybe when one of my ex-boyfriends told me I’d never be able to get a job because my teeth aren’t straight (or white enough) and it looks unprofessional and maybe I should fix that. It started then, but even though I soon realized he was a jerk, and I would totally be able to get a job, I did agree my teeth needed work, and badly. While I did not obsess about it, I did think my mouth was gross and refrained from smiling with teeth in any pictures. Once I broke up with my next boyfriend, I became obsessed. I don’t know what sparked the change, but soon my teeth were the bane of my existence. I despised them. I felt disgusting, embarrassed, and absolutely resolute in getting them fixed. So what was the problem? I had no job, no income of my own, and my parents wholeheartedly DISAGREED with my desire. Now, while I can understand why they didn’t want me in braces as a youngin’ (we had a lot of stuff going on), I had NO idea why on earth they were so against it when I decided I actually wanted it. The answer was, “No, your teeth are fine. People your age don’t get braces. Just no.”

As the years passed I’d still try to bring up the subject of the dreaded braces. The answer was always a creative variation of the above. *sigh* I would dream of the day I could get my own job, move out, and get those braces that I desired so strongly. Every fiber of my being knew it was the right decision, but the inability to do it was disheartening. It also didn’t help that I’d try to Google all I could find on the subject and it would just make me worry. What would people think? Would I look like a freak? Well I could get clear braces..oh you can still see them. Well I could get Invisalign…what? My teeth are too crooked for that?! How about lingual? The dreaded lisp. Well what choice did I have? Look like a freak or sound like a lisping fool. Are teeth really worth this? My parents thought no, so, maybe they were right.

Eventually I would calm myself down, tell myself I was fine the way I was, and stopped obsessing…until the next session started. Even when I was calm, talking to people was uncomfortable because I was always afraid of what people were thinking about my teeth. And because I read too many things that told me if you don’t look a certain way, you’re less likely to get a job, have friends, go on dates, or be happy. Damn it is amazing what we let media tell us. My teeth were gross, but I had tons of friends that seriously liked me, I had no problems getting boyfriends, I got a job, and I was mostly happy. But no matter what, straight teeth are not only good for self-confidence, but also good oral health. I have a snaggletooth that I bite my lip with often and my dentist told me in its current position I could lose the tooth, and that would be way worse than any braces. The idea of being able to floss without difficulty is so exciting.

So fast forward about 5 more years. Here I am, 25, in the same mode of thought about my teeth. It’s better late than never I guess. 24 was my most difficult year, losing my mother, dealing with hurricane Sandy, and in my final year of my Masters Degree program. If I could go through all of that and survive, I’m pretty sure I can survive a couple of years in braces. After all, I’ve survived all of these years hating my teeth and being self-conscious of my appearance. Why not feel weird for a couple of years to make sure this hatred ends. I can’t even imagine the amount of confidence that I’ll have!!