Today I had a major set back with my emotional well being involved with these braces and my mouth in general. I don't know if it has to do with feeling like a freak yesterday at the party, but I'm so ashamed of my mouth. I felt so disgusting all day. My brother said one side of my face looked swollen, and it did, but at the bottom, and I'm afraid that it means another root canal for a bottom tooth and that will delay progress and I've just started! I don't want any delay, I want it to be over, sooner rather than later. And I feel like my clear ligs are getting stained even though I'm trying to be as careful as possible. And a piece of gum over one of my teeth is red and I don't know why. So my mouth feels like a trash bin and I just hate the way I look. I know I need to break out of this and think positively, but it was so damn hard today. And on top of that I miss my mom. But I'm making it my mission to break out of it though. I need to stop obsessing about what I can't change right now. That means I'm going to get a hair cut, start getting my nails done again, be more responsible with putting on makeup, start working out again, eating right, and just letting myself relax. Even if I have to wait to improve my mouth, there are other things I can focus on until then. Other parts of my appearance and helloo how about my job search again? And I need to start reading again. Not people's stupid rants, but articles and books. I need to expand my mind and refocus. It's time to do this. I have to.
On a side note, dad's birthday went fine, I don't think he noticed my braces and neither did my aunt surprisingly. Or they just didn't say anything, but that's pretty unlikely with the two of them, and I can eat shrimp oreganato, pizza bread, Parmesan cheese, and pumpkin pie. Score for more tasty foods that don't bother my mouth! Let's see how tomorrow goes and the beginning of my mission to divert this negativity!!
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