It's gotta get worse before it gets better

Ho boy. So extractions happened today. I feel better now, but I was hysterical before. It didn't even hurt, but it was such a traumatic experience, having teeth taken out that aren't even bothering you. And I look disgusting. I'm most traumatized at how I look. Thankfully my days at my old job are limited and hopefully I won't have to talk much to anyone. I'm so nervous about starting the new job with missing teeth. At least I'll have the wire back by then and the gaps can start closing, and hopefully the holes will be healed a lot by then and won't look too awful. I don't think they'd un-hire me just cuz of my mouth, especially since hiring people wastes so much time and money. I know when I have the wire though and the gaps I'll feel even uglier. For a second (okay more than that) I felt like I wish I could take it back; that the braces and straight teeth weren't worth the trauma. I can't even tell you right now that I change my mind. But maybe when I start the job and nothing bad happens and when the gaps start closing, I'll change my mind back and believe it to be all worth it. Right now I didn't have dinner and I'm afraid to swallow for fear of knocking out a blood clot. I have no idea how I'm gonna eat when I'm afraid to drink water. This is really uncomfortable and it's not a good day. Only cool thing is the missing teeth and blood and slightly pointy teeth look like I should be in a vampire movie. Maybe I should do that right now before I start a new job hahaha.

Hopefully I'll be in a better mood next post. At least I can say one thing: my boyfriend was so supportive and let me cry hysterically on his shoulder. Then when I calmed down he got me to laugh and he made jokes so that made me feel better. At least I'm not alone in this, I just wish I could talk to someone who went through it. See ya guys!